i cant find to install the chinese version languegue packs to install in computer.
thus, i thk i will juz write in english then..
what should i said..juz let say last evening ler..
i have this strange fren who are so independence and cant be compared anymore...
he sudenlly said wanted to go for a walk at lumut...juz like that...want go then go..
oke...actually my attitude oso like that ..
somekind of..
cuz whn id want that thing then i want..

just because of im having a real tense life over here..
so i said lets go..
anywher from utp..
ish!!! its near the final exam..
i had become more uncontrolled of my ownself ..charm lor..
actually..seeing down into his little soul..
that little soul have a lot of bitter past..
maybe,,,, duno...people dont even take me as a friend who he appreciate..(he said that i was not suppose to come along wor...dint asked me pun come pun!!! oke i said!!!..haiz really lar...actually got a bit angry oke...terrible!!!YALA NEXT TIME DUWAN FOLLOW LAR!!!!!)
but yesterday was out of the mercy and the will to accompany him..
or accompanying my other girl fren lor,,,..(in other word)

the day before,
we had planned to go to ipoh,
and actually i dint lied...i was looking forward to it as i really wanted to go for the singing in kbox..
imagining holding the mic all to my own..
but lightning strike and rained...(i mean in my heart).. was hAS HAPPENED?
two of the friends suddenlly called me and told me that they are unable to go with us.. not only that, still asking me to tell a lie...i wont!!!never!!! a lie that i dint have to tell...y sud i??
its not any wrong or any problem if we tell the truth..
so i told the truth..

what happened next make me dropped a few little tears..
after ending that call
my heart cant hold it anymore
the tears are unable to hold back n then juz keep flowing out like that...
"i am so sorry..
i duno that i will be like that..sorry"
after some times..it finally stop..
i get back on desk and studied for the moral as we are having moral exam the day AFTER..
i really dont like when hurting people..
i kkep telling him am so sorry...that i make such amess..
but actually its not my fault i knw it...
telling the truth is never is a wrong.. but i juz cant stand people get hurt or trouble when i am telling the truth..

thking of the life here..
its really different..
really want to find a hook to hook on...
juz a big tree that allow me to even gain some shatter underneath...

i have tried hard to be independence AND I AM SURE I AM..IN MANY THINGS..
but somtimes there are some places in my heart that telling me..'go fond some big tree and rest for a while""regain ur energy and the moved on"..