untitled~

Here i am, blogging...
guess no1 is reading...so i am going to write crap~~~

today is...well...is just another day~~~
i have been going thru my holidays so freely and doing nothing much..
its too free already...
sleep....eat ...and then sleep...
what is this??
its not that i have been a TOTAL lazy buds in this house...i had healped my mother up alot of times...and not to exagerate..its evryday..
but it is juz today that i feel that my life lack of somethg..

yea...
i got go out with friends..meeting old frens...yesterday ..
and tommorrow..
ALMOST evry 2 days will have a meeting with different old frens..
who is cming back frm their respective uni..
nomather where there are..
even though i really happy to be able to meet up with thm again but i doesnt really take it as a meaningful thgs after all..
if u all knw wat i mean here..

i just hope to do somethg that is more DIFERENT ..
but what is different?
i dont knw..

i really thks tht i have totali changed my preferences..
the tv that i used to love watching hav make me terribly annoying whenever i open the tv..
if last time i never refuse any movies that is offred to me...guess what..yae..nowadays i would refused all of them..
even when i wathced the latest movies in the cinema..i will start to thks...what is all this craps???

i dont really sure whether it was my problem or its the movis is really uninteresting...

+.=。。。

as part of my memory~~

i have been bitten by an insect duno comes from nowhere.
its trully damn hurt, cant even habe a sleep after that. damn lo!...T.T

so, now what i am doing??
oohh~~am blogging.
duno its damn long time i dint blog lor..
duno still got people care to see or not..
wakaka..
anyway, i am just writing this out of my boredom (it have always been like that pun=.=)..
honestly, i remember that i dont have much talent in establishing a realtionship.
moreover for the relationship that will last more longer..
it has always been like that since ...dont know when....

yea..well..let me take for an example..
u see, while making friends, i cant really establish realtionships that is really comfortable if for the one that i am not favour to, not like some people that can really establish a connection with any person that the meet.

yeah!!!

what i am talking here is the CONNECTION.
I AM really terribly honestly not good at all in this.
well, in the other hand, for those people that i firstly can mix up well, it will continue to evolved into a relationship that is tied firmly.
i means FIRMLY~

i dont know, is that makes me a failure in social skills?

well, i have been trying to overcome this "illness", i considered it as an illness as i dont likes this behaviours of mine.
haha..however, up until now, it still dont have any significant chhanges..
izit those acharacteristics have been in my genetic code or somethgs like that???

tel me my fellow readers, do u thk what i am saying about myself ABOVE is true??
heheh!!!!

最近

最近啊？
厄。。。 过得so so nia 咯。。
其他的不说了。。
唯一想说的是最近增肥了很多。。
不知道是托谁的福。。讨厌。。
很想减肥。。却次次都不成功。。
不能这样下去的
搞不好真的不能减肥了。
那要跟么办好呢？

怕啊！！！

之前。。
体重都不超过44公斤。。
现在已经真到了46公斤！！
是一个星期内的事情啊！
如果不怎么明显长肉了。。我也不会在在这里瓜瓜叫！！！

难道是真的？
预料中的一样？
有了福分就忘记身材？
不是吧！
我没有忘记啊！！！
大家！
请给我你们的支持！！

让我能成功地减肥！！！！！
谢谢！！！！！！！

没东西

很久没涂鸦了咯~
今天一味向上来涂涂鸦~
写写心情

终于展开了新的翅膀
可是
一路地走
很担心会掉了那翅膀
翅膀有点很难控制
可能是新的
也可能是因为不习惯
新用的往往都是这样的

翅膀在我身边越久
就越舍不得它
知道应该好好保管它
把他永远留在身边

很努力了
很用心了

很不希望新的翅膀也会像之前那个一样的离开我

只怕 太用心会反而给弄坏了
只怕 太努力也会把它给弄丢了

真的好怕
怕
怕
怕
怕

难喝啊~不要~啊！！！！！！

生病了。。哈哈。。
也知道是自己不好好照顾自己才会被这~死讨人厌的病毒感染的=。=`
并不能责怪谁了。。和
（虽然生病的原因多得是）
无论如何。。

现在。。故事开始了。。

事情是这样的。。
整天在房间里打喷嚏，要不是就咳嗽几声。。
“哎哟，mygod a..help me a..帮帮我啊！又咳嗽，又伤风， 辛苦啊”
自己在房间里苦诉。。

这时。。眼前就出现这么一样的“东西”。。



是roommate 临时把“此”袋so-called 茶交到我手上。
“生病啊？hm？生病我有药。。很贵哦。。拿。。给你一个！”
“还有，这两个， 要一起放进去哦，没有会很难喝”



我呢。。
只是回答说：“哦”
是没有力气啦。。懒得回答，懒趴趴的。

过了几时~

咳嗽不停的缠身。。伤风病魔不停的攻袭。。
哎呀。。没法子了。。
一直摆在那儿的那包茶也要拿来喝。。
可能真的像室友说的那样有效呢？

好了。。就泡杯来喝。


（别被它那像茶的颜色骗了哦~）

喝了一口。。热热的。。
舌头可能被烫了。。
滋味像淡水一样而已。。

噢噢！！！
忘了把那酸梅放进去。。
应该很好喝。。呵呵~

放了进去。。又嫌酸梅的味道不够。。
就干脆咬了一口再放进去。。

果然。。
目的达到了1
酸梅的味道真的被我给咬出来了！呵呵~
就很自然的喝了。。
居然。。。啊！
你猜？

那味道简直是像刚刚呕吐出来的！！！

这时。。。
“你和完了没有。。要喝完哦。。不要浪费！”

“很难喝呃！”我皱着眉头说。

“什么难喝？不要浪费啊你！！”

呵呵~好啦（我骗她的！）

真的很对不起啦。。。我已经尽力了！

（我就只喝到那里~就到此一游~呵呵`）

“喝完了没？！”坐在店脑前面的室友这样问道。
“哦！喝完了！”呵呵！；P

就趁他不注意时溜出去。。
彻底除根！！！
~呵呵~


ps*sorry lor...need to really say sorry to u-my roomnate..
waste ur thg ady..

朋友

我真的认为朋友很重要
就是当 生活生涯走到委屈阶段时
有人能倾诉的对象

却又能对我说
“我懂”、

就那么短短的两个字。。
能让我体会到温馨



不管它真正懂不懂
只要对我说懂
就够了


谢谢你与我分享喜悦 悲哀 苦恼
谢谢你与我走过了
伤心绝望的时候

你的陪伴 存在 我很感激

生活 不容易

长了这么大
到现在才知道真正的苦是怎么一回事了
岁月也渐渐接近二头了
时光很快的流失
成长过程中 我 学习了很多事
体会到很多 愉快 伤心 该做的 不该做的
通通的经历过



没钱的苦难 苦涩
感情的复杂 烦恼
世面的虚假 丑陋
亲情的疏远 争执
友情的背叛 虚伪

一切的一切都让人们渐渐的成长
而我也不例外


相反的


有钱的滋味 很愉快
感情的美好 很甜蜜
世界的热心 很温暖
亲情的爱护 很温馨
友谊的忠诚 很踏实


能够生存在这个世界上是多么的幸运
能体会到届时的 喜怒哀乐 是很庆幸
能够拥有 所有的

渺小的自己

当自己觉得好渺小的时候。。
那么应该怎么办呢？

常常。。
都会很努力的让自己很勇敢。。

努力的让自己坚强起来。。
不让任何人看出自己的软弱。。

努力的让自己钻入人群中。。
然而却狠狠地被挤出来。。

努力。。。不断的努力。。
最终还是累了。。

当累的时候。。
最想要的是个肩膀靠靠。。
就这样而已。。
就那么一样。。

始终
这样的依靠是难以求得
身边依然没有依靠的肩膀
就只得自己考自己

伤心时候希望有人陪
孤单时候希望有人对话
寂寞时候幻想个拥抱
开心时候想找人分享喜悦

然而
那么一个人是否有存在自得我等待吗?

*梦话！简直是梦话！
发白日梦。。
￥#%……￥·#·#

what about writing this little site of mine??

really...
what about this??
what about im writing this blog anyway??
i really juz trying to get a closer look at my own writing and my own feeling...
i really telling you now that am not really sure of myself....

i have not muc best frens..
i duno how to consider them are my frens either..
like im not important..whether or not i appear it doesnt mind them at all..
maybe its my own litlle heart simplt think stuffs and things..
.and maybe...just maybe,.. to them im really that kinfd of person...yet...
to me..
it seems like that..

i has always wondering..it is me the only one who always feels like tht.??
do i so dunno how to make friends??
yea..
i admit im not humourous..
im not adorable..
noisy..
blablabla..
i dunno why am so DONOT LIKE MY OWNSELF either..

always think myself is the most pities mankind in this whole world..
never even satisfy with my own ability...never satisfy with whatever i have got up until now..

always think myself is the most uncomplete girl
in a nutshell..
i never see the correct and perfect way to live my own life..

yet..i love my family.
will try myself to love myself ..all in all..
itis just a mankind brain which is so much complex that making me think so miuch complex things and make me someitimes cant handle it..
sometimes...

PS*
I AM JUST TALKING AROUND WHEN IM REALLY THINKING ALOT BUT THIS IS WHAT IN MY MIND BY THE TIME I AM WRIITING THIS..
I GUESS IT S ABIT "..............."..HAHAHA...

never really expect this........

never really expect this....
i met HIM again since i back to my hometown...
over here...KELANTAN.

he wished me birthday thru the sms obn the 31th dec altot my birthday is on the 30th...
yup..
the wishing came late and never tot i would really see his number appeared on the screen of my hp anymore..

yup this is really a bit shocking but yet..
i cant really say that i am not happy when i saw his call..

i was first doubted myself whether to answer it or not..but..
i really cant prohibit myself from able to hear his voice again..

so..
i answered..
he was in some kind of drunk stage..
he cant really talked properly..
what i can really caught from his words thru the phone was just
"hapi....bir..day.., am...so...rry.."..

i was affraid..
i kept thinking..was he drinking?
why wud he do so?
what has happend to him.,,,..??
so on and on...
its really frustrating and i couldnt sleep that night..
really sleepless...

the next day..
i finally managed to get answer all my puzzles..(mot really all but almost)
we talked thru phone again..
he told me he is now facing a financial problem..
and told me summore that his financial problem actually started since the time when we had argued the most..
which at last lead to the end of us.
he said he felt he is really a guy who are useless..
dint have the real abilities to protect his gf ...
no matter mentally or physically..
he told me he himself cuoldnt support himself...

actually...
u all can really guess what in my little mind by then...
jusz up until here ...
its the all i can tell..
i actually started to feel i souldnt leave him that way..
no matter how his words had hurt me b4 ..
it all already past..
moreover he was pushed by the stress...

YET...
the slsfish part of me told me that he not the one..
he is now facing this kind of problem..
he is unable to provide and give u a comfortable life..
following him till the end maybe u r the one who inturn who need to feed him..
and sometimes i told myself..
if i really love him.. i can manage tohandle such a suffer..

SHIT!!!
I DONO WHAT I AM TALKING EVEN...
i really hope i v\never met him..
cuz ..
i am really lost..