how can i sleep?

how can i sleep?
how do i sleep?
what should i do to sleep?
what can i do to make me sleep?
what else can i ask to make me sleep?
in this time and moment..all i think is you..

im just not good enuf..

im really sorry...
i always have hurted you..
always is my own..
im too selfish..
the more i behaving that way..the more i feel that i was a failure..
im sorry..am just not good enough for you ..dont i?
punish me if u would..
am just not good enough for you..

what is in `~`~~my heart~~~~

was busy until no time for me to utter a word of complaints ..its good actually..
on the 1 side..on the other side..as i dont have to the time to even complaint about this and that i bcome more stronger than ever.
i hope i can really catch up with my own studies.
all these event are taking over my study time ..
i really dont hav much time left for my own study at all..
and also allow me to pretendly forget about what has happens previously..
of course i dint manage to wipe it out of my head..
its something like a glue..keep rounding rounding in the head..
maybe am too close with the problem oso..
anyway..
it was a bz week and i wasnt want to comment on anything..i still have test tomorrow..and i dont knw how..
oop was hard..and wth..i have no talent in coding..seriously..i m helpless..
was so so so so so so so so regrest actually..
taken this course..
but..
but...
there is a but..
i will go on guys..
even though with all the complaint and stuffs..
i will go on..
dont worry..at least i dont n never complaint on others....thank you for reading..if there is some1...
hAHA..ok..bb..

I WAS ONCE A HAPPY CHILD,,,NEVER DID I KNOW THE MEANING OF HATRED....

Here i am, starting all over again, it was so long that i havent posted anythg here.. i dont knw have all the fellow followers have been giving up on me..sorry guys..

It have been tough days....


why?what happens?

i have always tell people around me that i was alright..
just alright...never really tell out what is hidden in my heart b4..
not totally i mean..
not that i dont wana say.just i dont knw how to tell..
its not something that i can just utter out with a few sentences of words to make the situation clear..

the truth is..i grew this big..never been stabed back b4...until that day..

i heard rumours about my ownself..saying all kind of bad stuffs about myself..
i was like crying on the spot..but i dint luckily..
i thought we are best friends..even if not the best friends..we are friends..
i never even think anything bad about u..nor tht i offensed you..
it was such an unbelievable truth that i discovered..and unbearable..
the felling of being betrayed is kind of getting my heart crumbled apart..
i just want to live happily..
i was SO HEART-BROKEN MY FRIEND..
 if only i dont never treat us as a friend of mine.
i wont get hurt so much...
whatever i have thought b4 was just a passed by wind..a blow blowed evrything away..
deep beneath my heart..
i hope that all is not true..
u never said all those words..about me..
if only u tell me b4 telling other ppl..
i would be so grateful..
if only..............
then i wll always be the happy child...who never knows the meaning of hatred........stilll...
i hope times passes by faster..heal the wound in my little heart..\
never mind u hate me..
i hope you well..
i hope u happy always..
thank you for everything we had have together..
thank you..

untitled~

Here i am, blogging...
guess no1 is reading...so i am going to write crap~~~

today is...well...is just another day~~~
i have been going thru my holidays so freely and doing nothing much..
its too free already...
sleep....eat ...and then sleep...
what is this??
its not that i have been a TOTAL lazy buds in this house...i had healped my mother up alot of times...and not to exagerate..its evryday..
but it is juz today that i feel that my life lack of somethg..

yea...
i got go out with friends..meeting old frens...yesterday ..
and tommorrow..
ALMOST evry 2 days will have a meeting with different old frens..
who is cming back frm their respective uni..
nomather where there are..
even though i really happy to be able to meet up with thm again but i doesnt really take it as a meaningful thgs after all..
if u all knw wat i mean here..

i just hope to do somethg that is more DIFERENT ..
but what is different?
i dont knw..

i really thks tht i have totali changed my preferences..
the tv that i used to love watching hav make me terribly annoying whenever i open the tv..
if last time i never refuse any movies that is offred to me...guess what..yae..nowadays i would refused all of them..
even when i wathced the latest movies in the cinema..i will start to thks...what is all this craps???

i dont really sure whether it was my problem or its the movis is really uninteresting...

+.=。。。

as part of my memory~~

i have been bitten by an insect duno comes from nowhere.
its trully damn hurt, cant even habe a sleep after that. damn lo!...T.T

so, now what i am doing??
oohh~~am blogging.
duno its damn long time i dint blog lor..
duno still got people care to see or not..
wakaka..
anyway, i am just writing this out of my boredom (it have always been like that pun=.=)..
honestly, i remember that i dont have much talent in establishing a realtionship.
moreover for the relationship that will last more longer..
it has always been like that since ...dont know when....

yea..well..let me take for an example..
u see, while making friends, i cant really establish realtionships that is really comfortable if for the one that i am not favour to, not like some people that can really establish a connection with any person that the meet.

yeah!!!

what i am talking here is the CONNECTION.
I AM really terribly honestly not good at all in this.
well, in the other hand, for those people that i firstly can mix up well, it will continue to evolved into a relationship that is tied firmly.
i means FIRMLY~

i dont know, is that makes me a failure in social skills?

well, i have been trying to overcome this "illness", i considered it as an illness as i dont likes this behaviours of mine.
haha..however, up until now, it still dont have any significant chhanges..
izit those acharacteristics have been in my genetic code or somethgs like that???

tel me my fellow readers, do u thk what i am saying about myself ABOVE is true??
heheh!!!!

最近

最近啊？
厄。。。 过得so so nia 咯。。
其他的不说了。。
唯一想说的是最近增肥了很多。。
不知道是托谁的福。。讨厌。。
很想减肥。。却次次都不成功。。
不能这样下去的
搞不好真的不能减肥了。
那要跟么办好呢？

怕啊！！！

之前。。
体重都不超过44公斤。。
现在已经真到了46公斤！！
是一个星期内的事情啊！
如果不怎么明显长肉了。。我也不会在在这里瓜瓜叫！！！

难道是真的？
预料中的一样？
有了福分就忘记身材？
不是吧！
我没有忘记啊！！！
大家！
请给我你们的支持！！

让我能成功地减肥！！！！！
谢谢！！！！！！！